Giving in to the madness

I might actually go insane and start eating people up.

I screwed up. And I am probably going to screw up again.

I am sorry for everything, everyone. Please forgive me for being the way I am.

I need a way out.

"Sir, it's not my fault, 'cause you know we're not the same."

This is what I had for lunch (Y). But that's not what I really want to say.

What I am about to explain in this post is the same thing I would tell every single one of you if you ever have the guts to confront me. This is my side of the whole issue. The truth. Plain and honest.

Where do I even begin? I was flattered, to be very honest. I never knew you people were stalking me. Checking out my profile. That you people were so concerned about me. I appreciate it.

I never wanted this for myself. Period. I try to adapt. You can't say I don't try. But no, I am not happy here. And it's not like I have much of a choice. Don't make me hate it even more that I already do. If you're so interested in my personal life, look at my much older posts. Way before you people came to know me. That was the person I was and still very much am. I can't change that about myself.

I respect your principles. It's not like I don't. I cover up all the time here. Maybe not perfectly, but I do try my best. I am really new to all this. It's been what, just four months? I am a completely different person here, and a different person back home. I don't mix those two people I am. I do feel like a big fat faketard, a hypocrite. But out of respect for the system, I follow, if ever unwillingly. I respect the system.

So please respect my principles. One thing I will never do is change for someone else. I will never do that. I am me. Stubborn, hard-headed and headstrong. I won't change myself just to make you people happy, to satisfy you. These online channels are where I can express myself however I wish to. What I post online, my private life, what goes on beyond this place, you can't control. You can't force me to change. Just, no. It's my right what I choose to do outside of this place. With all due respect, please respect my privacy.

Maybe I will change one of these days. Willingly, when I am ready. Godwilling, I will. Until then, please respect my right and privacy and just drop this issue. Thank you.

It's nothing personal. It's just internal.

Please tell me why

Why do you like to evoke my anger? It is a big deal. Maybe not to you. It's not something you can just randomly discuss or joke about. Just, no. Especially after what you've done. What you told me. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to know what goes on in that twisted mind of yours. It's just sickening at times. Such as times like these.

"Baby, I was born this way"

This is epic. Period.

What far, far way

I just had to be so curious. I just had to know. I just had to subject myself to misery and pain.

It's funny how when you choose to believe something so badly, you actually will, regardless of whether you should or shouldn't. I believe that you love me, I do. I just can't understand how or why you could have done such a thing. It's been weeks since you told me. But I can't let it go. I just can't. Just not yet.

But I know that I love you. I swear, I do.

I am here to stay

"Don't leave me."

"Let me go."

"You promised not to leave me."

"Let me go."

"Promise me you won't leave me first."

"Let me go!"

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I can't lose you."

Because you got me thinking

I miss all of you. I miss you. Your everything.