Lately, it's becoming my frequently used word

I have a test I should be studying for. But as long as I don't get this out somehow, there would be no point in pretending to study.

I trusted you. I trusted you without a doubt. But you keep on lying to me. Making a fool out of me. What am I to you, really? Do I even mean anything to you? What we have, as you say, doesn't it mean anything to you? I expected you to at least have the balls to admit it, instead of blaming it on someone else. Lying to me again. How am I supposed to believe anything you've ever told me? Anything you're telling me? Anything you're going to tell me? I am an idiot. You're a fucker.

And you, I'm sure you're probably still weirded out. I just thought I should apologize for thinking the worst of you, and I am sorry. At least I have the balls. Although it does take two to tango, and I did expect you to maybe apologize. But I'll leave that up to you.

You want me to say something? Fuck you.

Your hands are mine to hold

Please understand that you drive me crazy. It's like I'm falling in love with you over and over again.
Please understand that I am fragile. Keep that in mind.
Please understand that I love everything about you. Every little detail.
Please understand that I am here to stay. I hope you would do the same for me.
Please understand that I am missing you. Screw the distance.
Please understand that you are precious to me. Take good care of yourself for me when I can't do so.
Please understand that I love all the little things you do to me, with me, for me. You know what I am talking about.
Please understand that I love you. Truly, I do.

Hello again readers! That is, assuming I have readers. Things have not been good lately. I am miserable, with the occasional happy moments with my housemates. This place is a hellhole. I want out.

I miss him so much.

Fuck.